I’m going to admit something that I’ve been too ashamed to admit to anyone my entire life:

I’ve struggled with my religion since I was 9 years old. Putting on a scarf was the easy thing to do. But it was everything else that never followed. At 9 years old, I never wanted to pray. I spent probably a few years pretending to pray and never doing it, or making it up a few days later. I hid it very well from everyone because I had to. Because I knew it wasn’t normal but I was too afraid to say anything and get in trouble for it. 

I didn’t want to admit that I just couldn’t get myself into it.  I was aware of it even at 9 and 10 and 11 years old.  I loved the hadith. I memorized so many stories and so many ideas that I still think about. They are the basis of my beliefs, in some way, although now my thoughts are more analytic and critical (not in a negative way! they just are). I would spend nights crying because I wasn’t like everyone else.

I didn’t seem to care enough. 

I kept hearing lectures about how your soul is the most important thing and you need to nourish your soul and about how ‘this is the time to start’ and I would tell myself ‘this is your time’, ‘this is it’ each and every time where I would start, try to find my inspiration and lose it. I couldn’t find the connection I wanted, the one I thought everyone else was having.

This went on for years. I would find relief for a few weeks or a few months before the empty feeling would come back and I would struggle with ‘why’ and ‘why should I’. I wasn’t looking for answers, exactly, because at the end of the day, I knew I believed in my religion and I knew I believed in God but I was still frustrated because everyone around me could quote things and read things and were deeply interested and I just wasn’t

Even now, I struggle with the empty feeling. I feel like a fake whenever I do anything that pertains to my religion, like I’m someone only wearing the clothing but not going out with them. And I hate it. and I don’t know why. 

Is it just me? Am I alone in this? If you’re going to judge me, go ahead. I’m glad I got this off my chest because I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take this constricting feeling in my heart.


tagged as: #personal #islam #religion #long post


it’s not that I don’t believe it’s that sometimes i don’t believe I deserve any of it




what if heaven was actually a giant florescent light and we were moths



Questions to a Muslim 

herpriorities:

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. So, tumblr, I identify as a Muslim. There can be a lot of confusion about what it means to be a Muslim, especially for people who do not follow the religion or all they know about the religion comes from youtube comments or the news.

SO, in an effort to both enlighten and clear some bad blood, I am offering myself as a proverbial scratching post. Ask me questions, make statements, get things clarified.

Want to know more about the hijab?

Want to know more about prayers, fasting, specific rulings and laws?

Want to know more about the Prophet (s.a.w.)?

Want to know feelings about sex, drugs, mothertrucking bacon?

I got your back, tumblr, I got your back. :)

ANONYMOUS IS ONE SO IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE.

(via herpriorities)



Questions to a Muslim 

herpriorities:

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. So, tumblr, I identify as a Muslim. There can be a lot of confusion about what it means to be a Muslim, especially for people who do not follow the religion or all they know about the religion comes from youtube comments or the news.

SO, in an effort to both enlighten and clear some bad blood, I am offering myself as a proverbial scratching post. Ask me questions, make statements, get things clarified.

Want to know more about the hijab?

Want to know more about prayers, fasting, specific rulings and laws?

Want to know more about the Prophet (s.a.w.)?

Want to know feelings about sex, drugs, mothertrucking bacon?

I got your back, tumblr, I got your back. :)

ANONYMOUS IS ONE SO IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE.



Questions to a Muslim 

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. So, tumblr, I identify as a Muslim. There can be a lot of confusion about what it means to be a Muslim, especially for people who do not follow the religion or all they know about the religion comes from youtube comments or the news.

SO, in an effort to both enlighten and clear some bad blood, I am offering myself as a proverbial scratching post. Ask me questions, make statements, get things clarified.

Want to know more about the hijab?

Want to know more about prayers, fasting, specific rulings and laws?

Want to know more about the Prophet (s.a.w.)?

Want to know feelings about sex, drugs, mothertrucking bacon?

I got your back, tumblr, I got your back. :)

ANONYMOUS IS ONE SO IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE.




religion can be black and white… but I’ve noticed that people tend to be grey.


tagged as: #religion

United States, you disgust me. 

so I lol at the people who think Obama is a “devout Muslim and I lol at the people who complain that Obama is not Christian enough and I lol at your false facts and misjudged thoughts and misconstrued opinions.

Let’s get some things straight:

1) Obama is not a Muslim. For further proof of this, please see the Vlogbrothers video where John Green lists five proofs on how Obama is not a Muslim. (Is Obama a Muslim? Examine the Evidence)

2) Although the United States is very Judeo-Christian, we are billed as a place where religious freedom is allowed and expressed. To deny someone the right to religion is an unbelievable act of tyranny. So, actually, Obama does not need to be a Christian. Obama could be a Buddhist if he wanted, or he could be a Hindu or he could be a Jew or he could be a Muslim or a Sikh or whatever religion he chooses, from whatever background he claims. 

The United States is so backwards. It took 43 presidents before one could be a PoC (44), and when that finally happen all of the hatred people have for him is focused on his religion and his race. When people finally DO concentrate on his policies, they can’t even give the correct facts they just go on and on and on about FALSE facts and just ugh. 

It pisses me off when I see congress members and our government bill themselves as “Christian”, not because I hate Christianity or Christians (on the contrary!) but because that should not be what is important. A multitude of people and a multitude of religions live in these United States. Is it a wonder people are fighting against the white, Christian middle aged man?

SO in conclusion (if you kept up so far I know I did a bit of a tangent): When the Obamas which Muslims “Ramadan Kareem”, he is being a considerate person. He is being a human being.

Which is more then I can say about you, United States.




ok but religion or lack of religion is something very personal to a person why would you ask them if they are religious or not why is it any of your business unless the person makes it your business WHY???



A post about feminism 

As a general disclaimer: this is a post about feminism, specifically my views about feminism and how I choose to interpret feminism as it applies to my everyday life/decisions/what have you. This is not the /right way/ to apply feminism or the /wrong way/. it is simply my way. Over the course of my tumblr I have reblogged many things, somethings I still agree with somethings my opinion has changed on. However, I will not go back and delete them 1) time and effort 2) they’re a part of my growing process and deleting that progress is like pretending that losers don’t exist. Alright, le-stuff under the cut.

Read More



Sometimes I see or hear things that reminds me of religion 

so I guess I’ll try again. To see if I can rekindle something because I miss the feeling of being able to read my Qu’ran and going to bed happy.


tagged as: #religion #islam


el-masreya:

Heard a commentator this morning declare that America was a Christian nation so I thought I should petition Congress to exclude Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, etc, from paying taxes. We shouldn’t be corrupting the soul of this country with our heathen cash.




effyeahnerdfighters:

Religion and Gay Marriage

In which John discusses marriage equality, what a traditional marriage actually is, and what role (if any) theological understandings of marriage play in the legal definition of marriage. Let’s continue this conversation in comments, but in doing so, let’s remember that nerdfighteria is about respect and generosity. Thanks.

Oh John Green. I love you platonicly.




sometimes I struggle so hard with my religion. And it’s not even with huge things. But when I do things that are wrong and it just perpetuates more wrongness and I feel lost in a hole because I feel hypocritical.

And I feel like I can’t really talk about it, even on here, because religion is a personal experience for me and it also feels like not a very popular thing to be talking about. Which is a dumb reason not to talk about religion but I’m just having some weird thoughts is all.


tagged as: #religion


Help! Help! I'm being repressed!: Palestine vs Israel 

boxlunches:

ricksantorum-2012:

darkmagicandgumdisease:

ricksantorum-2012:

thatonelittleliberal:

ricksantorum-2012:

lunaloveboob:

So tomorrow we will have a debate in my critical thinking class and the theme is a hard one: Israel vs Palestine, being serious with you…

You win, darkmagicandgumdisease. You go, Glen Coco.

Oh thank you. Did the guy who runs the santorum page realise that the Nazi party were /right wing/ or…?

Because that puts a nice damper on his “left wing nationalist” thing.

I also love being a walking contradiction of everything the santorum page says, ever, especially as an Arab and someone who doesn’t support Israel. 

Because, sir, I don’t know if you noticed, I’m not crawling around on all fours and trying to pick up bugs with my feet.

And can we please talk about the fact that his ideals are about two hundred years too late? We already know what happens when people believe their own ethnocentric bullshit—it wipes out entire races of people.

Or do you know nothing about actual American history? You know, the Native American part of this history? THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT YOU CANNOT WIPE OUT ONE RACE OF PEOPLE OR RELIGION OR WHATEVER BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATCH UP TO YOUR IDEALS.

Plus where else would you get delicious arabic food from?

(Source: ohvoldy)